Diary of the Unforgotten
by lightblue-Nymphadora
Summary: As Abraxas makes his way through school, his memories become harder to suppress. Sequel to Diary of the Unforgiven. Rated for themes of abuse.
1. First Year

_**LbN: This one's going to be told in time jumps. Happy reading!**_

Others taught me with having knelt at well-curbs  
Always wrong to the light, so never seeing  
Deeper down in the well than where the water  
Gives me back in a shining surface picture  
Me myself in the summer heaven godlike  
Looking out of a wreath of fern and cloud puffs.  
Once, when trying with chin against a well-curb,  
I discerned, as I thought, beyond the picture,  
Through the picture, a something white, uncertain,  
Something more of the depths-and then I lost it.  
Water came to rebuke the too clear water.  
One drop fell from a fern, and lo, a ripple  
Shook whatever it was lay there at bottom,  
Blurred it, blotted it out. What was that whiteness?  
Truth? A pebble of quartz? For once, then, something.

~Robert Frost

* * *

It was only September first, but the man was already dreading the first snow of the season. It was already cold, and the mountains always got hit first. He pulled his jacket around him as he sat on the porch swing. The owl he was waiting on finally swooped down, landing on the railing. He wasn't worried—the closest person lived ten miles away, and the closest wizard was over fifty miles away. He walked over to the bird and took the note off. He read it as the bird took flight again.

_Today's the big day! James should be on his way to Hogwarts now. Already sent a message to our friend on the lake, and our friend on the beach. Will write again once we know about Houses. _

The man hummed to himself and pulled his cap down around his ears, walking back inside. Bald was not a good "hairstyle" for the mountains. With a flick of his wand, he used the letter to start a fire.

* * *

"Abraxas, Scorpius," Persephone said, nodding at them.

"Hello, Professor," Abraxas said, grinning. "Are you still going to tutor us? Your Charms schedule is rather busy."

"I'll still be around," she said. "Congratulations on making Gryffindor."

"Father won't be pleased," Abraxas said, smiling. "But at least both of us are together. It would've been worse if Scorp had made it into Slytherin."

"Well, I think you're well suited for Gryffindor. Don't worry about your father. Now, get back to the feast."

* * *

The largest House was Slytherin, understandably. The other Houses had dwindled over the years, but stayed open so that only "True Slytherins" would make the cut. Hufflepuff was all but disbanded, and Ravenclaw only housed about fifteen students. Gryffindor was the second largest, with thirty students total. There were only three others in Abraxas's year— boys named Rowen, Haben, and Drake. There were no girls that year.

"Are we going to see Pers—I mean, Professor Andreas, tomorrow?" Scorpius asked.

"She said we could come by after breakfast."

"Why do you need to see Andreas?" Rowen asked.

"She was our tutor before we came to Hogwarts," Abraxas explained. "We still take extra lessons from her."

"Are you already that crap at magic?" Haben asked, grinning.

"No!" Scorpius yelped.

"We just liking having the extra practice," Abraxas said.

"Think she'll take on a couple more?" Haben asked. "My dad promised me a broom if I'm top of my class."

Abraxas shrugged. "I can ask," he said. He was already planning to "forget". He didn't fancy anyone else clogging up their lesson time.

"Cheers. Night you lot."

"Nite." Abraxas settled down into the blankets. He drifted to sleep quite easily that night, relatively sure that he wouldn't have any unwanted nighttime visits.

* * *

_Abraxas yawned as he walked through the house. A man, his daddy, was pulling him by the hand, but he wasn't afraid. The man led him into a room and said something he couldn't hear. It sounded like a name. He was pushed gently, but forcefully into a closet. He heard his daddy saying spells, but suddenly the voice changed. "Father…." Abraxas whispered, beginning to shake. _

_The door burst open, and Draco pulled him out and tossed him to the ground. _

Abraxas sat straight up in bed, breathing hard. Scorpius's face was hovering above him. It was obvious that he had been shaking him.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

As Abraxas caught his breath, he noticed the other boys were peering over from their beds. "It's nothing," he panted. "One of my headaches is all."

"You sure?" Rowen yawned.

"Course I'm sure," Abraxas said, lying down again.

* * *

Christmas lights twinkled on every surface. The smells of cakes and coco filled the air. There were roaring fires in the main parlors of the mansion. Despite all the apparent warmth of Christmas, Abraxas was shaking. He stood in front of his father's desk, trying not to look frightened.

"Well, I suppose the pair of you can be forgiven for not making Slytherin. Scorpius more so, because he is top of the class. What say you, Abraxas?"

"I came in second, Father," Abraxas said softly. "We can't both be first."

Draco chuckled. "Spoken like a politician. But if I remember correctly, you were always first while the pair of you were at home."

"Scorpius has always been better at practicing magic."

"Perhaps if you had a proper wand…."

Abraxas, against everything he'd ever learned about how to behave in his father's presence, retreated halfway across the room. "My wand works perfectly. Persephone…I mean, Professor Andreas, says I'm one of the most gifted Charms students she's ever seen."

Draco studied him for a moment. "You are both dismissed."

Not daring to even breathe, Abraxas retreated after his brother. When he got to his room, he slipped his wand into one of the pillow cases, and hid that pillow in the closet.

* * *

"Why didn't any of us pick a warm place to live?" the wizard asked grumpily.

"I did, but the water makes it a bit cold," his brother said. "Living on a beach is usually paradise, except for the tourists."

"I'm sure when we get James back, this is where he'll want to stay."

"You don't know that. We don't know anything for sure," the second wizard said morosely.

"We know he's being looked after."

"As much as possible."

The men were silent for a moment. Finally the taller one stood up. "You staying tonight?" he asked.

"No. I've been here too long as it is. I'm going back to Michigan tonight."

"Right. Well, let me buy you dinner before you go."

"Don't have to ask me twice," his brother said with a grin.

**_LbN: Hope you liked it! Send reviews!_**


	2. Second Year

_**LbN: THIS IS OFFICIALLY RATED M! **_

In the weeks leading up to Abraxas and Scorpius's second year, a sort of calm fell over the house. Abraxas was actually feeling relaxed for once. He had no fresh bruises, and his cuts were almost completely healed. When he and Scorpius walked down to breakfast, both of their parens greeted them warmly. As the butlers served them, Abraxas and Scorpius began a lively conversation about Quidditch, joined intermittently by Draco.

"Half of the team is gone now," Abraxas said. "I'm worried about us this year."

"Nah, that just means we'll be able to make the team easier."

"You will, definitely. You're trying out for Beater. Everyone else in the house who's not already on the team is trying out for Chaser. Don't know if I'll get a spot."

Draco cleared his throat. "I'd prefer it if you didn't try out at all."

Abraxas, as was custom, started mentally speculating what he could have done wrong.

He must've looked stricken, because Draco smiled and said, "It's not a punishment. I'm worried about these headaches you have. I don't think it's safe for you to be in the air so much. You may continue with your flying lessons, of course, but Quidditch is out. Plus, this will let you concentrate on your schoolwork. You ended second in the year."

"Second, only after Scorpius!"

"I know—"

"Why do you always want Abraxas to be better than me?" Scorpius yelled. Outbursts from him were few and far between. He still got in a good whine occasionally, but it had been a long time indeed since he'd actually yelled.

Draco, understandably, was taken aback. Then his expression changed. For a moment, he looked saddened, and then angry. He took a breath and said, calmly, "That's not what I want. I want both of my boys to excel at everything they do. It's not that I want Abraxas to be better than you. I expect you both to be tied at the top of your class this year."

Too afraid to argue, Abraxas attempted to eat his breakfast.

* * *

"No."

"You could—"

"No.

"But Ab!"

"_No!_"

"But you're—"

"NO! I'm not disobeying father."

"It's just this once," Scorpius whined, as he collected his pads and broomstick.

"Easy for you to say. You don't have any scars from his punishments."

There was a moment of awkward silence, but Scorpius recovered quickly. "But you'll come out and watch tryouts, right?"

"Of course."

Fifteen minutes after dinner, the Quidditch pitch was the new Gryffindor common room. The entire house was there. Most had come to try out, but Abraxas had some company in the stands—a bookworm friend of his from the third years, and an 8th year who always looked a little twitchy. He was probably too nervous to get on a broomstick, let alone play Quidditch. Abraxas heaved a sigh as Argo, the team captain, told the crowd what he was looking for in each position.

The people trying out for Chaser took to the air first. Abraxas was impressed. He really couldn't tell any difference between the flyers. They were all good, and worked together well. Two of the girls were better scorers, and made the team after some inspired flying. Next were Beater tryouts. Abraxas was glad. He really didn't want to have to wait around all day to see Scorpius, but he'd made a promise.

* * *

Promise or no, Abraxas bolted right after Scorpius had made the team. He was starting to feel woozy, and he didn't know if that was from jealousy or a coming headache. He got his answer right outside of the Charms classroom. "Ah!" he yelped, clutching his head. He had a brief flash of a man pushing him into a closet, and then it was gone.

"Abraxas?"

"Per…I mean, Professor Andreas," Abraxas said, nodding. He hoped he didn't look too worried.

"Are you okay? How did tryouts go?"

"Scorpius made Beater," Abraxas said, calming down as he walked the halls with his teacher. "I didn't try out. I'm not allowed."

"Really? I would've thought the infamous Malfoy Twins would be taking over the Quidditch field next," she said, smiling.

"I'll leave that to Scorpius," Abraxas said. He was still a bit upset, but Persephone's smile was infectious. "How is my Charms grade?" he asked.

"The same as this morning," she told him. With her wand, she drew golden numbers in the air: 100.

"At least I'm beating him at _something_," Abraxas muttered.

"Why do you care so much about beating your brother's grades? You've got wonderful marks in all of your classes. Can't that be enough?"

_You so don't know my father_, he thought. "I suppose sibling rivalry is just something Scorp and I do very well."

Persephone laughed. "Yes, I guess it's that way for all siblings. I was an only child, so I'm afraid I don't quite understand the complexities of those relationships. But there's something else," she said, tilting her head. "You've been spacing off during class, which isn't like you. Especially during my class," she added smugly.

"I'm afraid I haven't been feeling well," Abraxas lied, quickly. "But, it's alright. Er… I have to go. History of Magic paper to write." He turned and walked quickly down the hall, hoping his lie had pacified his teacher.

"Abraxas?" Persephone called softly.

"Yes?" Abraxas stopped, but didn't turn.

"My door is always open."

Another flash came to him: he was standing in a field, looking up at the remains of a house. It was gone as quickly as it came, and he continued down the hall.

* * *

"Oi! It's Archemides!" The man ran to the window to let the owl in. After it shook off some snow, it held its leg out for him to remove the letter. "Thanks Arch!"

"What's it say?" the bald man asked.

"It says 'Happy Christmas'. That's it."

"THAT'S IT?" his brother yelped.

"Keep your voice down," the bald man said. "You know long letters are impossible for us."

"So is getting together, but here we are."

"Maybe there was nothing else to report," the first man said. "I mean, we have to wait until James really knows who he is before anything can—"

A noise outside stopped him. There were men talking.

"Burn it!" his brother hissed, wand pointed toward the door.

The man did one better—he swallowed it. Quickly, quietly, the three of them gathered anything incriminating, as the pounding on the door grew stronger. At last, bags on their shoulders, they gave each other one last, sorrowful look. It would be the last time they saw each other for a long while.

When the Death Eaters broke in, all they found was an owl peering at them from the window. With a screech, it took off into the night.

* * *

Abraxas stayed tense. This wasn't how things worked. The routine was simple: his father beat him until he was satisfied that the boy had been punished enough, and then his mother healed him. _This _was wrong—the change scared him more than the actual beating. He wished healing could be done without having to remove clothes. Lying on his bed in nothing but his underwear, Abraxas had never been this scared in his life. He remembered, as his father's hand and wand trailed across his stomach, a conversation he'd once overheard. His father and Uncle Blaise had been discussing a man who'd been imprisoned for…doing things…to his kids. Blaise had called the man a monster.

"We all have monsters in us," his father had replied. "His just took over."

Was that what was happening now? Was his father's monster taking over? The pain was gone, so why was he still touching him?

Just when Abraxas thought he could stand it no longer, when he was about to break down in tears, Draco stopped. He Summoned a pair of pajamas from the dresser and helped Abraxas (who was shaking like a leaf) into them. Smoothing a wisp of hair away from his son's face, he said, "Sleep well."

Abraxas held in his sobs until his father had turned out the light and shut the door. As he cried into his pillow, he knew one thing for certain: this was the last Christmas he was spending at home.

**_LbN: Reviews make my day! Let me know what you thought! Love it? Thoroughly creeped out? Need eye bleach? Tell me! :)_**


	3. Fifth Year

**Diary of the Unforgotten**

Abraxas knew, somewhere deep down, that this wasn't actually his birthday. Damned if he knew what the real one was, though. So he enjoyed his presents, regardless of the headaches that were coming back stronger than ever. "Thanks Scorp," he said, as his brother chucked a package at his head.

"Yeah, well, November 1st comes but once a year…."

"Wicked!" Abraxas yelped, pulling a journal and 16 different pens from the box.

"Since you're an oldie—one for each year. Some are enchanted, some aren't."

"Thanks!"

"Open the one Father sent," Scorpius said, handing it to him.

"Did you check it for curses?" Abraxas muttered.

Scorpius laughed. "You're confusing yourself with me. He might smack you around—"

"Among other things…"

"But he wouldn't curse you. He likes you."

Abraxas snorted, but opened the package. It was a new robe—black, and embroidered with silver. There was also a note taped to a box of biscuits. "My dear Abraxas," Abraxas read. "Happy birthday. I hope you enjoy the new robe, as well as the biscuits Mother sent. I have also transferred 100 Galleons to your Gringotts account, so you'll have some extra spending money. Your loving father, Draco."

"Told you he likes you. All I got was the cookies," Scorpius said, grinning and swiping one of the biscuits.

"At least he has a sense of humor."

"Want to go down to breakfast? I think the kids from Durmstrang are going to be here soon."

Abraxas nodded and, putting on his new robe, followed his brother out the door.

* * *

The Durmstrang crew were a rambunctious bunch—fitting right in with Scorpius and a group of Slytherins by the second day. Abraxas followed behind them with Rowen and Drake as they walked through Hogsmeade.

"Big bullying gits is what they are," Drake fumed. He'd gotten off to a rough start with the guests, as a few of them had given him a swirly in Moaning Myrtle's toilet.

"We don't have to hang out with them," Abraxas said, shrugging. "Let's hit Honeydukes. I'm all out of Fizzing Whizzbys."

The boys bought their fill of candy and made their way to Zonko's. They had a wonderful morning, dodging the Durmstrang lot and goofing around by the Shrieking Shack. Abraxas was starting to feel odd, but he told himself it was just because he was hungry. "Oi, let's go to the Hog's Head. It's less packed."

As they walked, the two boys began to tease Abraxas.

"Are you going to ever ask Samantha out?" Drake asked in a longsuffering voice.

"Nah, man," Rowen said, grinning evilly. "He's got the hots for Andreas," he whispered.

Abraxas sputtered, turning red. "I do not! She's a friend of the family's…been my tutor for years…a professor…completely inappropriate…I couldn't possibly…"

His friends were doubled over laughing. "Man, you should see your face!" Drake howled.

"Very funny. And here I was, about to buy my best mates lunch, and they have to go and put me in a bad mood." Abraxas smirked as the other two began to backpedal furiously.

"Ah, come on mate!"

"We were just kidding!"

"The things you two will do for a free meal," Abraxas said with a laugh. "Come on, get inside. It's freezing."

They all stopped short when they entered, however. Sitting by the fire was the group they'd been keeping clear of all day—including a few Durmstang kids, two Slytherins, and Scorpius.

"It's cool," Abraxas said to the other two. "Just find us a table."

"If Scorpius sees you, he'll want you to come over there," Drake said.

He'd hardly finished the sentence when Scorpius called, "Hey Ab!"

Abraxas waved and then ordered. His brother didn't even bother to call them over—he just brought his group over to Abraxas's table. "Hey Scorp."

"Hey bro! These guys were just telling me about the awesome Dark Arts stuff they get to do at Durmstrang. They get to do these projects where—"

Scorpius rambled on, but Abraxas wasn't really paying attention. He couldn't write the feeling off for much longer. This wasn't hunger pangs—he was about to have one of his headaches, he could feel it. He did, however, catch it when his brother said….

"I asked Father if I could transfer, but he refused. He wants me at Hogwarts."

"You what?" Abraxas asked, louder than he intended.

"I'm sure you could've gone too, if he'd let me," Scorpius said in a pacifying sort of voice. Obviously he thought Abraxas's distress was over not getting to go along as well. "All the same, I think these exchange programs are wonderful. I should love to visit your school," he said to one of his Durmstrang buddies.

Abraxas picked at the food that had been delivered. He forced a couple of mouthfuls down before excusing himself. "One of my headaches," he muttered. "Be back in a jiffy." He scurried to the grimy bathroom and bolted the door. He slid to the floor as images flashed in his mind.

* * *

"_Stay here, James," the man said urgently. "Whatever happens, stay here. And keep that cloak around you. When your dad comes, he'll know how to find you."_

_Abraxas stayed pressed against the shed as the man ran back to the house. Less than five minutes later, the house was surrounded. Spells were being fired into and out of the windows and doors. He could see his mom, but just barely. Wait, no. That couldn't be his mom. His mom had black hair, not red. But somehow….Then, without warning, more men in masks came. They entered the house. There was a huge commotion, but they finally dragged two women with red hair out of the house, shooting green spells at them the moment they were in the yard. They went limp on the ground as a few more Death Eaters dragged the men from the house. One of them was the man who had hid him. _

_A hand closed around his mouth and a voice said, "It's me, son."_

_It didn't sound like Draco, but immediately Abraxas came to a conclusion. That voice = Daddy. They stayed there, watching the masked killers burning the house. He felt sad. Finally, when all of them had gone, the voice whispered, "Accio Wand!" and handed Abraxas the wand that flew towards them. _

"_Keep that wand with you from now on," the man said in a normal tone. "From now on, we have to keep moving."_

_

* * *

_

Abraxas fell against the sink, trying to shake the images from his mind. It didn't work. In fact, another one started.

_"Where's the boy?" a wheezy voice asked._

_"Somewhere far away, where you won't be able to touch him," the man said calmly._

_"Let's get this over with," the first voice snarled. "Call Malfoy. He'll want to see to this person—ack!"_

_Abraxas watched fearfully as his father fought the men. He heard someone say something he couldn't quite understand, and then his dad fell. "Daddy!" he yelped, but no one heard him._

_

* * *

_

Abraxas was shaking all over. He had no idea what was going on, but he knew he had to get out of there. Splashing water across his face, he took a few steadying breaths and opened the door.

"Whoa! Ab, are you okay?" Scorpius asked, spotting him.

"I'm fine," Abraxas said. "I'm just going back to the dorms now." He paid for their food and left. As he was walking up the road, he spotted Persephone and ran to catch up. "Hi, Professor," he said.

"Afternoon, Abraxas," she said.

Her smile calmed him, but he was still shaking a bit. He knew he looked out of sorts, because she was giving him a worried look.

"Are you quite alright today?"

He didn't know what made him do it. Everything he'd ever learned had taught him to hide, hide, hide at all costs. Still…. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"You know my headaches that I have sometimes?"

"Yes. You've been having them quite frequently in the past two years."

"They aren't headaches," he said, stopping. "They're flashbacks."

She was silent for a moment, as though debating exactly how to continue. "Of what, may I ask?"

"From before I was adopted. I keep…I keep seeing my real father. And…today…I saw my mother. I saw them kill her."

Persephone sighed and squeezed his shoulder. "What you need is a calming potion. I know you're probably curious. And I know you'll want to think about things. But we should talk when you've had a chance to rest and clear your head. Come with me back to the castle."

Abraxas drank slowly. The potion was good—it tasted like his favorite fizzy drink. "What now?" he asked.

"Now, you go take a nap in your dormitory while it's quiet. You'll fall right to sleep, no worries."

"Could I…"

"Yes?"

"Could I have extra lessons with you? Over the break? My father wants me to do better, and I really don't want to go home…. "

"Of course, Abraxas," Persephone said. She seemed almost relieved that he'd asked. "And perhaps…."

"What?"

"Perhaps I could teach you Occlumency. That way you'll be able to clear your mind. You're a fifth year, so it's going to be a bit advanced. However, if it lets you get through the night, or day, without having one of your…headaches—"

"I'll do it," Abraxas said, nodding.

"Good. I can begin tutoring you Monday evening, if you'd like?"

Abraxas nodded. He felt…calm. The potion must've been working. "Thank you," he said, softly.

Persephone opened her mouth, then closed it again. She seemed to be debating something. Finally, she said, "You're very welcome."

Abraxas smiled at her and made his way to the dormitory. That nap was looking better and better.


	4. Seventh Year

**Diary of the Unforgotten**

The bald man looked into the mirror at his graying beard. He chuckled. At least he didn't have to contend with the blasted snow anymore. No, he'd been happily living on a ranch for the past three years, after a few more close calls. He heard a clicking sound as he put his horse away, and turned to see a beautiful brown owl soaring into the barn. "Ah, Archemides. It's been a long time." Three months with no notice was a long time to wait. He removed the letter from the owl's leg and read.

_I can feel it. It's almost time. Wish our boy good luck—he'll be ready to know by the end of this term._

Kingsley Shacklebolt felt himself choking up. He patted his horse's neck and folded the letter back up. Slipping it into his pocket, he walked back toward the house. It couldn't be possible…the last letter hadn't even been inspiring. Just assurance that James was still safe. But now… it had to be! He smiled into the sunlight, barely resisting the urge to let out a happy yell.

* * *

Abraxas knew he was perfect. His hair was perfect. His body was perfect. Draco had seen to that. He'd had to endure another "healing session," but this one hadn't lasted as long. And it was the only one he'd had all summer. He'd cried that time. Seventeen years old, a star wizard, and he'd cried his eyes out. Draco had smiled down at him and continued, never touching anywhere that would be deemed _completely _inappropriate, but coming very close. Which was why, even though he knew he was perfect, as he knelt before Lord Voldemort, Abraxas felt sick. Disgusting. Warped. A lifetime with Draco was enough for him to know how to hide that, however. So he waited. He waited through the Dark Lord's questions to his father. Waited through the speech about service and loyalty, and pureblood elite. Waited as Scorpius expressed his eagerness to be a part of it all. Then, finally, it was time for him to speak.

"What say you, Abraxas?" Voldemort asked quietly. "I see you wear the band of a Junior Death Eater; however, I sense some hesitation on your part."

"My lord," Abraxas started. "In my years at Hogwarts, my brother's talents have always exceeded my own. I believe he is ready to serve you, and I know he will do a good job. However, I feel that I need this one last year. One last year to grow, become stronger—to figure myself out. The night of my graduation, I'd like to take the Mark. Then I'll know that I am ready."

Voldemort regarded him for a long moment before nodding. "Very well. I do admire honesty. A wise, calculating boy who knows his own strengths and weaknesses will rise quickly in my ranks. You will do well, I can see that. Scorpius?"

"Yes, my lord?"

"Come here."

Abraxas watched as his brother walked forward. He extended his arm as Voldemort raised his wand. He shut his eyes at the last second, but that didn't keep out Scorpius's scream, or the smell of burning flesh. He opened his eyes again, and Scorpius was on the ground, clutching his arm and breathing hard. He didn't have the mark.

"You will be wise, like your brother, and wait. That was just so you know what you're in for. Service to the Dark Lord means pain, not glory. You are dismissed."

* * *

Abraxas had never been so happy to be back at school. Scorpius hadn't spoken to him since before the meeting with Voldemort. He was glad to be back at school, taking classes, and back to his training sessions with Persephone. These were easier to arrange now, because Scorpius had stopped coming. His brother was determined to keep his position as the better student _**without **_help.

"Have you ever thought of using a Pensieve?" Persephone asked one night as Abraxas practiced a color changing charm.

"Father would never allow one in his house," Abraxas said. "He said it was a soft mind that dwells on the past. Guess that makes my mind a cushion," he said with a grin.

Persephone smiled and said. "As your teacher, I really shouldn't tell you this. However, as a former student here, and your tutor, I have no qualms about it whatsoever. Especially since it has to do with your well being. Try the Room of Requirement."

"That was destroyed, I thought." Abraxas stopped waving his wand and turned to look at her.

She shook her head. "The Room is…well, it's complicated, but basically it can't die so long as the school survives. It's been 18 years since the fire, so it will have had time to regenerate. Of course, the things that students left there will mostly be gone, but all you need is for it to make you a Pensieve. I think it'll help if you look as an outsider, instead of waiting around for another long flashback."

That was true. It had been two years since he'd seen the red-haired woman get killed. Two years since he'd learned his name was James. "Alright. I'll go tonight."

"Go now. I've seen that ornament turn every color in the book. I'm sure you have the spell mastered."

"Good night then."

"If you need me…"

"Your door is always open," Abraxas said with a smile, repeating what she'd so often told him. "Thanks."

* * *

Abraxas stumbled back from the memory. He'd seen the man's face. He'd seen other memories that hadn't even flashed back to him before. He knew his name was James. There was only one thing left to do. He closed his eyes tightly and concentrated, bending the room to his will. When he opened them again, he was surrounded by newspapers and files. Words like "undesirable" and "wanted" popped out at him. He combed through them, unbothered by time. Not caring if anyone found him, he read on.

Finally he stopped. He barely even had to think. He didn't close his eyes this time—the room knew what he wanted. A mirror appeared. Abraxas—James—kept his eyes on the floor as he approached it. Then he looked up. Undesirable number one stared back at him, smiling. He had his arms around Undesirable number four. The red-haired woman he'd seen in the flashback. His parents—Harry and Ginny Potter. Ginny was holding the wand he now had in his hand. He looked at it, then back to her. She smiled and nodded. The room changed again, allowing him to walk into a fireplace that was full of green flames. "Malfoy Mansion!"

Draco was reading by the fire when it suddenly turned green and Abraxas stepped out. "Son?" he asked. "Is everything alright?"

Abraxas had a deadened look in his eyes. "Why?" he asked.

"Why what?"

"Why did you take me that night?" Abraxas asked softly. The crackling fire almost drowned him out. "Why did you save me? Why didn't you ever tell me? Why did you beat me, and torture me, and…touch me all those times? You didn't even want me! Why did you keep me?"

Draco sat, stunned. "How…"

"You know. You know that all these years, the memory charm Mother put on me has been wearing off. You knew when I was a kid, and couldn't remember my name. You knew every time I got a headache, that I was just trying to keep something from you!" Abraxas's voice had risen to a shout. "You knew every time you beat me that I never felt like your son! Why did you keep me?"

"Because I wanted you to be my son!" Draco said fiercely. He stood and grabbed Abraxas by the shoulders. "I didn't want to watch a five year old be tortured to death, nor did I want Harry to watch it. He was everything I could never be, and the temptation to have that for myself…to have you carry my name instead of his…." Draco trailed off, looking at the fire. _It had never worked_, he thought. _He may have stopped calling me Daddy, but he never was…_. "I loved you. I love you still." He kissed Abraxas's forehead and let go of the boy's shoulders.

Abraxas looked completely distraught. "Is that what you call it?"

"I had to make sure you weren't as willful as Harry," Draco said. "I had to break you. But you…you were so stubborn. And when you went to school, I knew it would only get worse, and that I wouldn't be able to be as…physical…with you as before. So I found another way." He smiled. It was the same smile that he'd given Abraxas so many times before, after he'd "healed" him. It was a smile that said "this is for your own good," when really, it was just for Draco's good. "So what now?" he asked.

Abraxas stood shock still for a few minutes. He watched the man he'd called father for so long. Years ran through his mind in seconds. He knew he had to say something—to make things okay. At least for the time being. "Nothing," he said. "This changes nothing. You're the only father I've ever known. These memories just show how hard my life could have been. I just…wanted to hear it from you."

"And now you have."

"Now I have. Good night, Father."

"Good night, son. I'll see you at Christmas."

* * *

Abraxas moved through the halls quietly. A few Prefects saw him, but none deducted points for him being out of bed after hours. Half because, well, he was a Malfoy, and half because he looked like he'd just watched someone die. He wandered through the halls, finally stopping at the door he wanted. He knocked, and stood back. The door wasn't literally open, but he knew that if ever there was a professor he could go to, it was Persephone Andreas.

"Abraxas?" she said, opening the door to her office.

He let out a choked sob and fell into her arms.


	5. Christmas Break

**Diary of the Unforgotten**

"Please talk to me?"

Silence

"Please?" Abraxas said. "Scorpius, this is stupid. We live in the same bloody dorm, and you haven't spoken to me in six months!"

"What's there to say?" Scorpius asked coolly. "You'll always be favored, no matter how hard I work. By Father, our teachers, and now, the Dark Lord. What do you want from me?"

"I'd hardly call what our father does 'favoritism'. You're being—"

"Stupid? Silly? Abraxas, let me ask you something: when was the last time Father talked to you?"

"Yesterday before work."

"And did you notice that he barely spared me a glance? He puts all of his energy into making sure _you're _the perfect one."

"He puts all of his energy into controlling me!" Abraxas snapped.

"Negative attention is the only kind Father knows, or knows how to give at least."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Abraxas asked. He ignored Scorpius's scandalized gasp. "Are you seriously complaining that you never got beaten or molested? Do you really, after seeing me bloody on the floor god knows how many times, want that? Because trust me, I'd rather be in your position. I'd rather be top of the class, a Quidditch star, with a girlfriend—instead of Draco Malfoy's untouchable golden child." He turned from Abraxas's cold stare and said, "Breakfast's ready…if you can stomach being in my presence that long." He made sure to slam the door on the way out.

* * *

It was quiet at the table. Abraxas was glad he knew Occlumency, because he had a feeling his father was going to start picking through their heads to see what was the matter.

"Scorpius," Draco said. "Would you like to come in to work with me today? The Headmaster of Durmstrang is visiting, and he expressed his wish to meet you again. You apparently left a great impression on him when the group visited Hogwarts."

"Of course, Father," Scorpius said, perking up immediately.

It was disgusting, Abraxas thought. He kept his head down and continued to eat. To take his mind off of his brother's ass kissing, he began to mentally compile a schedule of the homework he had to do. He'd asked for a ton of extra work from his teachers, so that he could be around his father and brother as little as possible during the break.

"Abraxas?"

"Yes, Father?"

"I know you have a lot of work to do, but perhaps you could spare a few hours and come along as well? Uncle Blaise wants to see you."

Despite himself, Abraxas nodded. Even though he had an iron clad plan to get out of it, he felt like the Ministry would be a better option for some reason.

So, an hour later, Abraxas was wandering the halls of the Ministry. He'd already talked to his uncle, and was trying to avoid going back to his father's office.

"Ah! A young Malfoy, I believe…."

"Hello, sir," Abraxas said, racking his brain for the man's name.

"Dorian Koch," the man said. "Head of the Retrieval Squad. We round up all the traitors," he added with a grin.

Abraxas shook his hand, smiling. "Yes, I think we've met once before. At a Christmas party, maybe?"

"A few years ago, yes. Do you have a moment? Your father says you're an exceptionally hard worker—gifted, in particular, at Charms. My office has been…er…infiltrated by a prankster. One of the interns no doubt. I wonder if you can help?"

"I'd be happy to," Abraxas told him. He followed the man down a series of halls and into a bright, comfortable office. It would have been nice looking, except for the fact that the walls kept changing colors and patterns. All of them clashed, as well. Abraxas laughed as the man explained.

"It started off that it would only change once a day. Thought I was going mad! I've tried color changing charms…everything."

"I think it's a Zonko's Wall Changer," Abraxas said, feeling around the walls. "They're for kids' rooms. Normally they last a couple of months before they have to be replaced, but this one seems to have gone round the twist. A ha!" He pulled his hand from behind a filing cabinet and handed a small, egg-shaped ball to Koch.

The walls stopped changing color's, much to the older man's relief. "Thanks. Care for some tea?"

"Sure."

They talked as they drank and had biscuits. Koch was interested in all of the goings-on at Hogwarts. He had a nine year old who would be starting next year.

"It's great there," Abraxas said, after he'd explained all of the classes. "So what exactly are you working on, may I ask? Surely there aren't that many traitors left now?"

Koch beckoned for him to follow and made his way into a small room attached to the office. "For the most part, no. Now it's just little cases—things that end in a month or so of imprisonment, but nothing harsh. Like these here—public disruption regarding a new law that was passed," he showed Abraxas the files. "Defaming the name of the Dark Lord…those sorts of things."

A picture had caught Abraxas's eye. "Who is that?"

"Ah…one of the only Undesirables left. Can't tell you how delicious it would be to catch those bastards, but we've basically given up. They're in the wind now. Probably laying low in some primitive Muggle community," he added with a sneer. "That one you're pointing to is Fred Weasley."

Abraxas felt a pang somewhere in his stomach. His…mother's brother, then.

"The Death Eaters took care of most of his family, but he got away with his twin, George." Koch moved along the line of wanted posters. "That there is Kingsley Shacklebolt. It's a pity he had to pick the wrong side. He was a great wizard. Here we have Seamus Finnigan. Came close to catching him about a year back. Stupid prat decided to blow up some Ministry transports, but got himself hurt. He still put up one hell of a fight. We think he's somewhere in Wales, but we can't ever pin him to one spot. That's Nymphadora Tonks. She used to be an Auror," the last word was dripping with distaste. "Merlin only knows where the bitch is now. She's a metamorphmagus, so…" he trailed off, shrugging. "And the last one is Parvati Patil." He scowled at the poster and continued. "We know exactly where she is, but we can't get to her. Until she decides to let us, that is."

"Why?"

Koch beckoned to him again and led him to the main level of the Ministry. There, in the center of the foyer, was the statue Abraxas had seen so many times before. Muggles crushed underneath the wizards. "See there? Ever noticed the light in the Muggles' eyes? That's her."

"Wait! You mean…?"

"She transferred her essence into the statue as a 'last beacon of hope for the resistance.' We can't get her out, and we can't destroy the statue. Damn good magic, but don't tell anyone I told you that…."

"Of course," Abraxas said.


	6. Leaving

_**LbN: Last one and then an epilogue. Happy reading!**_

Abraxas hadn't hid in his closet for years. He'd long since learned that, while it may have protected him once, it no longer did. Tonight, however, he sat against the wall, breathing in the smell of all his expensive clothes. He had a small flame in a jar next to him, and was writing a letter. Actually, he'd written five different letters (all of which had been destroyed) and was on his sixth. He finally figured out how he wanted to phrase it, and scribbled it quickly. He stuffed it into his pocket and blew out the flame.

The house was quiet as he walked through it. Still, he stayed tense. He'd coded the letter enough to where his father probably wouldn't be able to understand what it really meant. Luck was smiling on him that night, though, and he met no one on his way to the owls' tower.

* * *

The owl had less space to travel than Abraxas thought. The mansion sat on the edge of a heavy forest, and in the trees, just out of sight, there was a witch on a broom. She had a perfect view of Abraxas's room from this vantage point, and the owl found her with no trouble.

Nymphadora Tonks landed the broom and took the letter from the owl. It read:

_**Persephone,**_

_**Thanks so much for the information you gave me before the break. It's really helped me, and I've been able to figure a few things out on my own. Looking forward to your class next term. Wish I could discuss things with you now! **_

_**Yours, Abraxas.**_

This was it! The letter they'd been waiting 18 years for had finally arrived. Abraxas knew—she could tell his guarded writing was just a ruse for Draco. He knew, and he wanted more. She petted the owl and picked her broom up. She tripped as she started to walk deeper into the trees. "Damn! I thought I'd gotten over that." Figures her old clumsiness would show itself during a patrol. Mounting her broom, she watched as Abraxas slid into bed. "One more hour," she whispered. Draco liked midnight for some reason. In another hour, she could be reasonably sure that Abraxas was safe for the night.

* * *

As always, the mail was stacked on the table when the family got down to breakfast. Draco shuffled through it as he sipped his coffee. He stopped on one of the letters. "I have a letter here for you, Abraxas," he said, making no move to hand it to him.

"From Persephone, I expect?"

"Yes," Draco said. "Why would your teacher be writing to you on your holiday, I wonder?"

"I wrote to her first," Abraxas said, smoothly. He knew what was coming. Draco would try to use Legilimency against him. But he'd been studying memory magic for three years now, as well as Occlumency, and he knew what to do. He called to mind all of the class work he'd been doing before explaining. "I figured out a couple of tricky spells yesterday. I just wanted to let her know, and ask her opinion on them."

Draco stared at him for a moment. Finally satisfied that his son was telling the truth, he passed the letter to him. "I'm sure all of your hard work will pay off during your tests."

Breakfast couldn't end fast enough. As soon as he could excuse himself politely, Abraxas left the table and went to his room. He tore open the letter, ripping it in two in his haste. "Damn it all to hell and back!" he griped. Piecing it back together, he read:

_Abraxas,_

_I'm glad things are becoming clearer for you! I knew your hard work would pay off one day. Perhaps you'd like to come over later and discuss it? I have another workbook I could give you._

_~Persephone_

For one frightening moment, Abraxas wasn't sure she'd gotten the message. Did she really think he was talking about Charms? Then it hit him that she knew, somehow, that he didn't want his father reading this. She'd just put the stuff about the workbook in to cover her tracks. He smiled and slipped the note in his pocket.

* * *

"Where are you headed, Abraxas?" his mother asked.

"To Professor Andreas's house. She's invited me over for a tutoring session. I won't be gone long—just an hour or two."

His parents exchanged a glance, and finally his mom nodded. "Alright."

He smiled at them, grabbed his rucksack, and left. He Apparated into an alley somewhere, and had to take a moment to figure out which brownstone was Persephone's. Luckily, she came to the door rather quickly and he made his way into the house. "What are you doing?" he asked as she cast a spell on the door.

"Making sure you weren't followed. Draco's a bit of a control freak."

"Putting it lightly…."

They sat at the kitchen table and Persephone handed him a glass of pumpkin juice. "Tell me what you found out."

Abraxas told her everything—from Fred being alive, to Parvati's transformation. "I want to find them. I need to know my real family. I need for them to know that I'm alive. I don't want this anymore."

"They do know you're alive, James," she said. And then she changed.

"Merlin's balls," Abraxas stuttered, stumbling away from the table. He was suddenly looking at the woman from the Wanted posters. "Nymphadora?"

"Please, call me Tonks. Or if you want, you can still call me Persephone. Do you really want to leave?"

"Yes," Abraxas said without hesitation. He looked down at his empty glass. "Veritaserum?" he guessed. He'd never been this compelled to tell the truth without withholding anything.

"Had to make sure this wasn't a trap. I know that Draco's not above using his child as bait."

Abraxas's mind was spinning. He couldn't take it all in. "What…what happens now?" he finally asked.

"Now, you go to your Gringotts vault and drain it. You know Transference charms very well, yes?"

"Yes."

"I'll give you the address to the wizarding bank in America. You write to them and tell them that you want to convert a shipment to Muggle money."

"I'll have to live as a Muggle?"

"No, but you can't be traced through banks. So you'll have to learn Muggle currency, and keep your money there. Once they've replied, you'll go to Gringotts and transfer it. After that, we can leave. I do believe Fred already has a wardrobe picked out for you, so you won't have to take that much along."

"Fred? Fred Weasley, my uncle? You know—"

"We've been in contact since…since everything fell apart," she said sadly. "He goes by Fred Thomas now. Weasley's not exactly a common name. Here, send your letter." She handed him a pen, the card of the bank and a sheet of parchment. "Sign it James Thomas—not Malfoy or Potter."

As he wrote, something nagged at the back of his mind. He pushed it away. The thought was really ungrateful, considering everything she'd done for him. Still…it ate away at him.

"You're wondering why I didn't stop him all those times," Tonks said.

Abraxas looked up, surprised.

"I taught you Occlumency. I know your style of magic very well. I'm probably the only one who will ever be able to…er…read your mind."

"Yes. I know you would've done something if you could have."

"I wanted to. Believe me, I wanted to rescue you so many times. But I needed you to figure things out on your own. I needed you to be an adult before we got you out. Kids get homesick. Kids rush into things without thinking. I needed you to understand. There were nights…" she trailed off, closing her eyes. It was apparent that she was trying to keep the rage out of her voice. "There were nights when the only thing that kept me from killing him and taking you was the fact that I wouldn't be able to get you out of England safely. I was always so afraid that I'd be caught, and then I'd be no help to you."

"But there were nights when you stopped him anyway," Abraxas said, remembering flashes of light, bursting pipes, fires…distractions.

"I tried."

"I know you did."

* * *

There was a light drizzle coming down that night, but James didn't care. He stuffed the last of his things into his trunk and sent it to the address Pers—Tonks—had given him. He wrapped his cloak around him and made his way through the house for the last time. He stopped by the room that had given him so much comfort as a boy—the wand room. Just inside the door, he took out his wand and cast a nonverbal spell. Three of the wands came shooting toward him—his father's, his grandfather's, and his mother's. He put them into his rucksack and continued down the hall. Passing the parlor, where his parents sat listening to the Wireless, he opened the front door and Disapparated.

"I got a little worried there, for a moment," was the first thing he heard when he reappeared in the woods.

"I'm fine," he said.

"All ready?"

"Yes." He took her hand and they Disapparated. After a few moments feeling like he was being sucked through a straw, he suddenly felt a cool breeze on his face. Opening his eyes, he saw the ocean. "Where are we?" he asked quietly.

"Ireland. And we have to hurry," a deep Irish voice said.

"Good to finally see you again, Seamus," Tonks said.

"And you. Enough chatter now, I have to get you out of here."

"We can't just leave?" James asked.

"No. If you try to fly or Apparate out of the country using magic, a Trace automatically attaches to you. Don't ask me how they worked that one out. The only way to break the barriers is to get them to do it." He hefted a box onto his shoulders and said, "I want you two to stay here. You'll know when the barrier breaks. It's noisy, and everything goes purple for a few minutes. You only those few minutes to leave, so be ready."

They watched him walk down the pier and onto the beach. He went about a mile out and shot a few spells into the air. He waded out a few feet and chucked the box into the tide. A second later, the beach had more visitors—Retrieval squad members. Seamus began to duel them—sparks and spells lighting up the night sky.

After a minute of this, one of the squad members yelled, "Conley! He dumped something! Get it, it might be information on the others."

One of them jumped into the water and shot a spell into the distance. A crack filled the air and a purple haze settled on the beach.

"That's our cue," Tonks whispered, taking James's hand.

A second later, they were gone.

**_LbN: Send reviews please! Let me know if you like it, and whether or not I should write the third one. _**


	7. Epilogue

**Diary of the Unforgotten**

James walked sleepily into the kitchen the next day as the man called Kingsley was talking to Tonks. "Morning," he mumbled.

"Good morning, James," Kingsley said, beaming at him. "You'll be going to Fred's house today. George should be there when you arrive."

The reunion was tearful, and wonderful, and confusing. When James had given them the wands, the twins had broken down in tears, hugging him. He hardly knew these people, but they treated him like he was someone they'd been waiting all their lives for. Maybe they had been, he didn't know. All he knew was that he wasn't afraid. Even though he'd be living in hiding, he wasn't afraid.

"This is your room," Fred told him, keeping a hand on his shoulder. "You're trunk's there, and I got you a Muggle television. I'll teach you how to work it. Er…I got you clothes, but if you don't like them or if they don't fit, we can go shopping again."

They ended up back in the kitchen where Kingsley, Tonks and George were all talking about something in the paper. They tried to push it out of sight, but he caught a glimpse of the front page. "Hey! That's Seamus! What's wrong?" he asked, dread filling him. "Give it here. What's happened."

"They caught him, James," Tonks said softly.

"They…he…what's going to happen to him now?"

"Nothing," Kingsley said. "He had a poison on him, and he drank it before they could interrogate him. He's dead."

James fell into a seat. He couldn't deal with this all at once. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up into the face of George. "I need you to tell me…about my parents," he said. "But I can't…I need…."

"You can have all the time you need," George said. "You're safe now."

**_Fin_**

**_LbN: Hope you liked it! Like I said, I don't know whether or not to write the last one (from Scorpius's POV). Leave a review and weigh in!  
_**


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